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White people don’t have to deal with their gender being distorted or denied through race.

I’ve found that as my politics evolved to prioritize femmes of color, I’ve also become more attracted to femmes of color as well.

My reflections upon my own sexuality have made me more attuned to how our fears and desires are intertwined. How are our desires and phobias a manifestation of a part of us that we don’t yet want to address?

xoài phạm is a Contributing Writer for Everyday Feminism.

My femininity was only valuable when I was exoticized as an Asian person; my femininity was perceived as hyper-feminine since I was both Asian and feminine-presenting.Our attractions can give us vital reminders that our sexuality is not just a natural attraction to one or more genders; desires that might seem subconscious can be influenced not just by structures of power but also by our own personal relationship with ourselves.Before I presented myself in a way that is traditionally associated with femininity in the West, I was already being perceived as femme due to the way I was racialized.What does this say about the supposedly concrete boxes of identities?Our understandings of ourselves, our bodies, and our relationships with others are too complicated to be summed up in simple terms.

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