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As I was researching this list, I Googled “stripper statistics,” figuring it would lead me to some decent academic studies on the industry.

I clicked on a message board link where someone had asked about stripping stats, assuming there would be responses with links.

“I just wanted to dance” beat out “I wanted to make more money” or “My job sucked or, uh, didn’t exist.” I guess there aren’t that many jobs for the dance majors of America, but exotic dancing seems like a liiitle bit of a stretch. somehow the one you get a lap dance from always falls within percentage, and always wants to tell you about ’em. (Although based on the binomial distribution of handsome strip club clientele, being able to see clearly isn’t always a good thing.) The pay at the end of a night is extremely variable — it depends on the city, the club, the cut the club takes, the prices, the customer turnout, and how many people are really just there for the .99 buffet.

A dance major getting a job in their field by becoming a stripper is kinda like an Italian major getting a job in their field by working at Olive Garden. The website Payscale had strippers taking in anywhere from ,000-a-year to 2,000-a-year. but some strippers slug it out WAY longer than that.

Some days are better than others, but the temptation to use drugs is a strong force that can set back years of progress.

It’s an old joke that every stripper says she’s just doing it to put herself through school.

Even the really old one who’d even Gabrielle Carteris would look at and say, “Yeah, no way she’s college age.” A study found that 33 percent are, in fact, telling you the truth: It’s college by day, stripping by night. 0 percent are confirmed superheroes.) At least that’s what they say.

Leave the strippers to strip and let the nerds guide you to the numbers.

There’s no binomial distribution in the champagne room.

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