Ex boyfriend dating ex best friend

Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.We know our backstories will be tangled and intertwined.This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are about this), and don't invite your friend to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at home. Don't do this ever, but especially not if his last girlfriend is the person you're going rock climbing with Sunday.However, in order to maintain a healthy relationship with both of them, it's crucial that you never seem even a little like you're taking sides in their breakup or casting either one as the bad guy, even months or years after the fact. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party. But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!

Whether you're gay, straight, bi, or not into labels, dating a friend's ex can absolutely be done without sacrificing your friendship — you just have to follow a few simple guidelines. (I'm going to use female pronouns for your friend, and male pronouns for your sweetie, for the sake of simplicity; however, every rule here applies no matter the genders of the participants.) Keep your friend's secrets.

I can count the degrees of hookup separation between my closest friends and myself, and usually come up with no more than two or three.

In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend.

In general, allow your friend and your sweetheart to decide how much contact they want with each other, and don't push them to associate if they're not into it.

Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other.

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