Solutions to teenage dating violence
Growing up a teenager in my parents’ house, I was taught this very basic principle about dating: If he ever hits you, leave.
Behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, and stalking all fall under this category.Does your partner tell you what you can and cannot wear, or otherwise make it clear that they either approve or disapprove of your outfits? Part of the problem with emotional abuse in particular is that “constantly being criticized and told you aren’t good enough causes you to lose confidence and lowers your self-esteem.Does your partner show up places when you’re not expecting – or even wanting – to see them? Using threats of suicide to manipulate you, causing harm to your pets, destroying your personal belongings, starting rumors about you, and threatening to out you or otherwise spread your secrets? As a result, you may start to blame yourself for your partner’s abusive behavior.”In reality, your partner is using these tactics to assert power and control over you.You’re supposed to feel unreasonable anger when another girl writes on your boyfriend’s Facebook wall. Because, hey, what the media is selling is that manipulation and control are signs of a healthy relationship, and persevering through rough waters, waiting for loved ones to change their behavior, is commendable. Parents – of whom, by the way, only 19% recognize that teen dating violence is an issue – and teachers, while not to blame, can’t fix the problem – especially if they refuse to acknowledge that there is one. What that means is that the relationship styles and cycles that you find yourself in when you’re young usually stick with you.It’s normal to put down verbally any guy who flirts with your girlfriend and then restrict her contact with him. Writing violence off as growing pains – “Of course my daughter is in her room crying again! And that’s bad news considering, according to Love Is Respect, “the severity of intimate partner violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence.”This isn’t just kids being kids.